Time Off From Work

Well, my vacation request finally came thru and I am off work for the next 9 nights. I'm usually off Tuesday & Wednesday nights unless someone else is on vacation then who knows? But somehow my boss got it right and after my T&W "weekend" I have 5 nights vacation and then another T&W  "weekend" for a total of 9 nights out of Hell.
I took most of today as just time to relax, decompress and get my head back where it needs to be. I'm fidna go for a health checkup so I did a sort of self diagnosis/inventory of aches, pains, etc and made a list of things I want/need to discuss w/ the Dr.
Also made a list of things I want/need to do around the house, garden and yard.
I'm gonna try to work out how to post new pictures and videos on here so I can share my gardens and ducks&geese and such w/ y'all.

Clean The Tub & Clear The Drain

Ok, I am long time divorced and consider myself single. Sometimes keeping a spotless home is not high on my priority list. I was getting an unsightly case of bathtub ring composed of soap scum, body scum, body hair, etc.... And my tub was draining slowly probably mostly because of the hair. I read the ingredients on a $5.00/quart bottle of drain cleaner and saw the main ingredient is sodium hypochlorite w/ some soap added. Heads up, kids! Sodium hypochlorite is nothing more than common $2.00/gallon household bleach! Get a jug of $2.00 bleach, slosh it all around your tub... bathtub ring is gone! As it works its way down the drain it eats away the hair and cleans it out.
OR.... you can pay $5.00/quart for drain cleaner = $20.00/gallon and you still have bathtub ring. It's up to you.

Getting Some From The Gardens & Curb

I've been getting a few peas and okra from the garden each day or 3, tossing em into a freezer bag and into the freezer. A few grape and/or "Tommy toe" tomatoes which I usually gobble straight off the vine. There are a couple more what the grocery calls "personal" watermelons (I call em "bowling ball") that may make edible size before Autumn goes into Winter. This morning I pulled up 3 radishes, et them and gave the greens to the quack pack.
The folks at the corner are moving or have moved. At any rate yesterday I saw a slew of yucca cuttings and some magnolia limbs. Naturally I fetched em home. The limbs went into the swamp until I have time to cut em up into smaller pieces and send em back into the swamp to decompose and become better fill material. The yucca went into becoming part of my privacy/security border.
 Also tother day I was channel surfing and saw Bobby Flay was cooking something using yucca root which I didn't know was edible. By the time I tuned in he'd already finished w/ the root so I missed his recipe but I'll be looking for the plant aka "Spanish dagger". I don't know if it's true or not but I want to say I heard years ago that even more years ago the Native Americans used the flowers like shampoo. No idea if they got a good head of lather or not.
On a similar note to the yucca I'm keeping my eyes peeled for palmetto. When I worked at the zoo there was 1 in the alligator exhibit that nigh needed its own ZIP code! The zoo is where I got my 1st banana tree shoots back some 15+ years ago but never managed to get any palmetto to grow.
The leaves are turning color and starting to fall. I'll be out there trucking em home for compost along w/ anything else I see a use for here.

Before It Starts My Vacation Gets Better

I'm not saying my supervisor, Ron is dumb but sometimes the look in his eyes says, "The wheel may be turning but the hamster is dead."
But how and why did my vacation get better even before it begins? Simple. When I get back to work from mine, he's taking a week off!

Razor Blades?

November the 1st will be the 2 year anniversary of my officially not shaving. According to beard contest rules (yes, there are official rules for measuring a beard) mine is over 12". Last night at work I must admit I thought I was being set up as a joke. A customer asked me where in the store are razor blades. I finally realized he was serious and said, "Sir, you are obviously asking the wrong man that question... but we can go find em together."

Injury Update

Last week at work I nearly filleted my left index finger. A normal person would have probably gone and gotten a couple or 3 stitches. I just pinched the meat together and Super Glued it together. Tother day I stepped on a piece of glass left in my yard by the sellers and sliced my right foot pretty deeply. Again a normal person would have gone for a few stitches. Again I went for the Super Glue. Before y'all think I'm crazier than I really am cyano acrilate adhesive a.k.a. Super Glue has been used for a long time in veterinary medicine and more recently in human medicine. Finger and foot are still a but tender, I have a bit more gimp in my step to add to my bad ACL (it's a ligament in the knee) but in time the hoof and hand will heal.

Loving The Sofa

Hey! The "new" sofa is already becoming like a member of the family. It's long enough that Vlad, Bella and I can all pile on it for a power nap. They do love 'em some Papa. When I'm back here in the office writing this they're curled up on the floor next to me. When I go to bed we all pile up together. Now we have room for all of us to stretch out on the sofa together. And I have them armrest pouches to keep my remote controls and pocket junk in!

Let's Get Crazy

A while back Square Head "quit" and walked off the job. It took our supervisor by surprise so badly that now the supervisor pretty much kisses his butt. Since that card has already been played I'm going another route to get what I deserve and have earned, dammit. I'm just gonna act lizard crap crazy. Not bi polar or even tri polar but quad polar. 

First the supervisor tried saying he forgot about my vacation. Now his story is he thought I had taken all due me and I was joking. Piss on my leg and tell me it's raining but stick to your story, okay?

"New" Sofa

I'm a huge fan of "curb shopping" aka letting someone else's trash be my treasure. I came home from work this morning and saw my neighbors across the street and down one may or may not have bought a new sofa. At any rate their old one was sitting on the curb so I had to go check it out. A dark blue 2 piece sectional, 10' long, the right half is a hide a bed and the left side is like 2 Lazy Boy recliners. Hey! This bad boy is in better condition than the undefined color sofa that was parked in my living room. The seat by the arm has a built in massage which may or may not work, I didn't find the power cables to it. I thought the bed side was heavy until I began hoisting the recliner side into my truck.  But the main thing is I upgraded my living room furniture so my old can go curbside. Maybe someone else has one worse than it and they can upgrade! My neighbor lady across the street and up one saw my "new" sofa in the truck and offered to help me unload it and bring it in. She's about my age I reckon and I didn't want to chance her ripping a chitlin so I thanked her and told her I could manage. I'm not quite as dumb as I look but am twice as strong. The only drawback w/ the new sofa is that it is 10' as opposed to my old 7' model. I used to have about 3' on either side to walk around. Now I can only go around one way but I ain't complaining. I've already test napped it and it is comfy! I'll probably try out the hide a bed soon. A few years back my dad, brother and I were up at deer camp moving a bunch of crap and throwing some out. My brother said of me to our dad, "Look at that! Not an ounce of fat on him but as strong as an ox!" (I normally weigh in at about 145 and joke that if I go over a buck 50 it's time for a laxative.)
I didn't have a (clothes) washing machine at least 10 years ago or more. Coming home from work I saw one on the curb. I knocked on the door and asked if it worked. It did and still does. It won't go into the spin cycle unless the door is opened and reclosed but it knocks the skidders out of my skivvies and was free.

Strummin' The Banjos

Years ago I made a fretless banjo. Then a few later I bought a "real" banjo. I'm sitting here strumming and picking out a semi melody on one or the other, trying to keep my blood pressure down. I damn near filleted my left pointer finger at work last night so my playing is worse than usual. All I ask is, y'all pray for me, all right?

A Special Kind Of Stupid

I believe here in the South we started saying "special" instead of "retarded". And then we followed it by saying, "Bless his heart". Well, my supervisor has proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is special. Bless his heart.
Remember when I asked for the 2nd week of September as vacation and he forgot?  Now I believe he wants a week away from me ASAP.
I'm usually off Tuesday & Wednesday nights so I drew a calendar just showing the days of the week. I didn't put days of the month to confuse him further. I pointed and said, "If I can have my usual Tuesday & Wednesday as soon as you can work it in your schedule and the next week Tuesday & Wednesday, ok? Now, the Thursday thru Monday twixt & tween as vacation, I''ve got things I really need to do in my yard before it gets ass biting cold.
Bless his heart! It took me 5 minutes to show him how any 7 day period don't have to start w/ Sunday to equal a week. And another 5 minutes to explain to him that Thursday thru Monday is in fact 5 days.
I gave him the calendar  I drew to keep for himself. Then he said (Bless his heart)  and I quote, "You're already scheduled to work this Saturday". I almost bit my tongue off before saying, "Saturday, Sunday & Monday ain't in this dog race. Lookie here. I want my usual nights off 2 weeks in a row as soon as you can make it happen. The 5 nights in between instead of being at work I want my vacation".
Does anybody else not comprehend what I'm asking? Is it that complicated? Or is he really special ?Bless his heart!

Autumn Is In The Air

Well, Autumn is here w/ its cooler weather. The leaves will be falling from the trees and as soon as most people rake em up, bag em and take em to the curb I'll be coming along to fetch em home. A couple early bags in each of my raised bed garden, worm bed, compost bins and Quack Pack yard then I can dump a few into the Swamp to break down. I'm thinking about building 2 more raised beds for a total of 3 and come Spring border 2 "regular" slightly larger garden ares on either side of my back yard for "The Three Sisters": corn, beans and squash. I do love me some yellow crookneck squash; fried, baked, grilled, boiled, Hey! I could go "Bubba Gump" on that! 

This is my 1st Autumn in this neighborhood so I don't yet know how many people go to what degree of Halloween & Thanksgiving decorating. I'm hoping there are at least a few that go whole hog so after the holiday is done I can fetch up some free for the hauling bales of straw (just not pine straw). My yard in the trailerhood had 3 ridiculously large pine trees so if I got it all roke up, 24 hours later nobody knew except for me and my back. But regular grass straw I'm seeing the use of at least 6 or 7. Without trying I can see ways to put another half dozen to use. A little imagination, effort and what I read in a magazine could use any and all up to 100 bales or more. As good as God has been to me I just don't see 100 bales though! Lol

Anyway I have a few insulating tricks up my sleeve to be put into play before Winter arrives. My electric bill over the Summer has been around $100 per month and my gas bill nonexistent. When Old Man Winter comes knocking I'll be burning some gas to keep my nose, toes and all parts in between warm. The only reason I don't hunt is because I simply cannot handle the cold. Maybe when deer season arrives I'll be able to barter for at least some offal to make sausage or dog food and perhaps even a hide or 3. We'll see what comes my way.

Choctaw Burgers

Speaking of good vittles, I started slobbering at a memory of something I put in my grocery hole many, many years ago at the Choctaw Indian Fair in Philadelphia, Mississippi. Not to be politically incorrect nor nothing but there was a couple chubby little middle aged squaws (close to my age now) sitting around an open fire tossing burgers on a grill. They smelled good (the burgers, I didn't get close enough to smell the cooks) so we all ordered one each. At the first bite I knew there was something different, maybe special about these sammiches. A couple more bites and I knew it... Pork sausage! I fiddled around w/ the ratio and finally got pretty close. 2 pounds of beef + 1/2 pound of sausage (I prefer the hot & spicy). If you wanna experiment, you can make a smaller batch but I do feel mixing it by hand must be the key. Gotta show that meat some love! Shove one in your grocery hole and tell me it ain't good!

Chicken/Pork Rub Recipe #2

Y'all know I usually make my chicken/pork rub w/ 1 jar of garlic salt and 1 of lemon pepper. I used up about 1/2 a jar on a pork loin I did a while back and wanted to try something a little different on my next loin. To about 3/4 jar of the usual stuff I topped the jar off w/ ginger, dumped it all into a mason jar and mixed well then put it back into the "measuring jar/sprinkler".
Again, I pumped the loin full of ginger ale then rubbed it all over w/ the mix. It was beyond bodacious!
Also I saw on some cooking show a fellow makes what he calls a "violated pork loin". It does indeed look violated when sliced but Good Golly Miss Molly it is good! Pretreat your loin as you wish... brine, marinade, rub or whatever. Then take a long thin bladed knife and poke an X thru it lengthwise. You may have to go thru both ends to make a complete passageway thru your loin. Then take your favorite sausage and violate the loin. I prefer Country Pleasin' brand make in Florence, Mississippi. If you've never tried it you've never experienced pork sausage as it was meant to be! Anyway, after you've violated your loin toss that bad boy on the smoker or in a pinch I reckon you could even wrap it up and use (God forbid) the oven.

No Vacation, No Weekend

Well, my idiot supervisor has stuck it to me again and deeper. Not only did I not get the vacation I requested but now he's managed to screw up my nights off. Instead of Tuesday and Wednesday nights off, I have Tuesday and Friday. But it's all good. When life gives me lemons I grab a bottle of tequila, some salt and make margaritas!

Bad Night, Wonderful Morning

When I first hired on at my night job I made it crystal clear to my "stupid visor" I really didn't care what 2 nights I had off as long as they were 2 in a row. Remember I told y'all last month I told him I wanted the 2nd week of September as my vacation? It didn't happen. Next week's schedule was posted last night and "Pedro" is on vacation. He took 2 weeks in July to visit his family in Mexico and I haven't had any time off since January. For some idiotic reason I'm off Tuesday and Friday the week of Pedro's vacation and we have plenty of other hairy legs to cover everything w/o him. My 2 nights in a row? Didn't happen. Last night we got a butt load of freight in and snapper head in charge didn't manage man hours effectively. No surprise there as he is almost an idiot. About 30 minutes before my quitting time he comes moaning about all that hasn't been done and suggesting he'll have to stay until it is complete. I guess he was too proud or showed a spark of semi intelligence by not coming right out and asking me to stay. But his words and body posture said he wanted me to volunteer to stay and help bail his ass out of a jam. Guess what? It didn't happen! He screwed my vacation and my weekend. Now instead of a happy redneck w/ 1 week of vacation on the books he has a disgruntled redneck w/ 2 and no one to thank but himself! Holiday season is right around the corner, the big dogs don't want us taking time off because we're so busy but almost all of us have time to be taken before year's end and I have the last laugh when I tell him I have an extra 40 hours coming to me.
I was talking to one of the few at work I actually talk to and we agree it seems like the dumb SOB is trying to piss me off but why? I'm not as fast or strong as I used to be but I can be counted on to be there 8 hours even when a tornado misses my (then) trailer house by only a few hundred feet. Hell, I was 15 minutes late because the police wouldn't let me out and onto the main roads.
Anyway, as angry as I was for 7 and 1/2 hours at work the last 30 minutes was all worth it!

Wrestling Referee

Years ago I met a couple who ran a semiprofessional wrestling outfit. I went to a few shows, met the wrestlers, even got in the ring a few times. I later got drafted into setting up before and taking down the ring after. In time I became a heel manager, Mister Crowley. One night I wasn't managing but our referee didn't show so I became referee. Another "promotion?" Lol Anyway, after the show one of the wrestlers said, "You did good. You mostly stayed out of the way." Hey, These 2 boys were about 225 and 250 pounds each and I was 145. You bet I was staying out of the way!
Well, I was now an  official referee and worked a few more shows and everything was going ok until one night Rude Dog "Son of Junk Yard Dog" was good guy (baby face) against Michael Darkheart, bad guy (heel). A few minutes into the match Rude got about 3 or 4 near pin falls against Mike. There was 2 young black men about 12 years of age near ringside. One hollered at me, "You stupid sh*t! You can't even count to three!" I started laughing uncontrollably. After another minute or so I had to pull the plug. At any time in a match a wrestler or ref can say "Take it home" meaning there is some problem and we need to end the match. We had to take that one home.
Another night "Luscious" Kenny was in a falls count anywhere match against "Babarazz" aka Isaac. They took the match all over the Nation Guard armory. Suddenly our promoter, John grabs me and says, "We've changed the finish. You're gonna take a bump from Isaac before he pulls out his foreign object..." Caught up in the moment I said, "Cool, Let's go!"  Back in the ring I thought, "Wait one Damned second! Isaac is 6' tall and 300 pounds. I have yet to take a bump from anybody yet!"
BTW... a "bump" pretty much means getting knocked flat on your ass!
Isaac backs me into the corner turnbuckle, rears back, growls, "And don't get up!" and lays into me. I have just enough time to picture my sternum meeting my spine when his forearm makes contact. To my joyous surprise I've been hit harder by my grandmother! Following kayfabe, I fall face first to the mat.... then start laughing again. To hide my laughter I roll out of then under the ring. When I finally compose myself and reappear I have tears streaming down my face from laughing so much and my face is beet red. I hear one lady at ringside say, "Oh my God! He's really hurt! He's crying!"
Back in the dressing room Isaac said, "You was great, man. You looked really scared back there!"
Our secret? I never to this day have told him that I wasn't acting.

Thank You

I just checked my stats and saw as of now I have 998 blog views. Someone will soon be my lucky # 1000 so I'm happy about that. I'm still trying to learn how to add more pictures and maybe videos here. I so far have only 1 comment so far so I hope for more; good, bad or indifferent.

We In Season, "V People"!

My friend and former co-worker, Rev and I share birthdays, September 10th. My mom's is September the 6th as is my friend and former across the street neighbor, Stephanie's. My best friend, Gail had hers on the 5th and my "baby brother" Barry, all 6' plus and not a biscuit away from 300 pounds had his on the 4th. When Rev, Gail and I all worked together every year on September 1st Rev walked into the break room and announced, "Aaite, V People! We in season now!"
So to all Virgos and wanna be Virgos, here's to you....
Aaite, V People! We in season now!
Ducks & Geese For World Peace!

Quack Pack Pool Pump

I finally realized there was a major design flaw in my drain system for my duck&goose pool. The walls of a $10 kiddie wading pool simply aren't thick enough to handle any torque. So I went to Harbor Freight and bought a drill powered pump to suck the muck. Once I got it home I realized it don't have screw on fittings for a garden hose but I think I can redneck engineer around that minor obstacle. The Quack Pack at present have (2) 4' diameter pools to enjoy. I still have the 5' pool that I'll have to patch up for them. Hey, they can will a pool w/ poop in no time flat so keeping clean water for them is a labor of love! I still have their "baby" pool which was originally a scallop shaped wading pool some 3' at the widest. I'm thinking that plus the pair of 4' and the 5' should keep them fat and happy. I should be thin and happy if I change the water in one pool daily. So everybody is happy, Happy, HAPPY!
With the addition of 1 more 25' garden hose (5/8" diameter) I should be able to pump the waste water to my compost bins and anywhere else I want to put it. With all the fresh bird butt pudding it's too hot to put directly on plants for fertilizer but maybe over the Winter I can pump & dump most of the semi solid waste into my raised bed gardens, compost bins and worm bed and by Spring it will have aged enough to be good fertilizer.

Not My Vacation But At Least My Weekend

Thanks to the Good Lord I've made it thru another week in Hell aka my 40 hour a week job. I've got a week's worth of projects to try to complete in just 2 days. I know it's an impossible task but I'll start at the top of the list and check off as they're done. As badly as we need rain I need outdoor working weather too. I'll spot water as needed and keep on pushing on.

Garden & Fruit Tree Update

It's been scant pickings in the garden here as of late. Some due to not fully prepping the beds and some due to weather. Anyway, I'm picking a few peas (mainly enough for seed but maybe a few for the pot) and an okra pod  or 3 every few days. I may haul in some seed corn (when Indian corn arrives at the store I may buy an ear or 2 for seed). 2 grapefruit size and 1 baseball size watermelons are on the vine so I need to keep them hydrated. The tomato plants that came up on their own are covered w/ flowers again so God willing I may reap another harvest there. Collard greens I still am guardedly optimistic about, hoping for at least a small mess. Lemon basil is firmly established I believe. I'll pick a few leaves but allow the lion's share to flower and go to seed. The Meyer lemon tree has 5 fruits about the size of ping pong balls and still green as gourds so I have to keep watering the tree. Mom has had a tree in her back yard for years but hers didn't make squat this year. As much as I love lemons (especially Meyer) I love my Mom more so if any of my fruit make it to maturity I'll give 'em all to her. I know she'll start the seeds for more trees and this lady could start from seed & grow damn near anything in a used, filled up w/ dook  cat litter box. Ok, She's never actually done it but if anybody can the smart money is on she can! She took the tops off some pineapples a few years back and stuck em in pots of dirt and actually growed pineapples in her sun room. Before I had space to take 'em in her pineapple plants was taking over the sun room so she chucked 'em out. I've tried a few times to grow pineapple plants from crowns like she did. After a week or so all I had was a soggy stinky mess in a pot w/ a wilted, withered mess atop it. Well, it's about time for me to go water the plants and the Quack Pack  before it gets too hot. Happy Labor Day!

Working For The Weekend

Unlike most people I work 10 PM to 6:30 AM. My lunch break is 2:30 AM to 3:00 AM. My "weekend" is usually Tuesday & Wednesday nights unless somebody is on vacation. How their being on vacation effects my night off is still a mystery to me. Anyway, I'm focused on making it to 6:30 tomorrow morning and my 2 nights off. I'll not be getting the vacation week I asked for but maybe I can get a weekend's + 5 vacation days' worth of work around the hacienda done in 2 days.... Yeah, right! And monkeys might fly out of my butt!

Birthdays & Carpe Diem

Today is my Mom's birthday, her 77th. The 10th of this month will be my 56th. She still has more energy than I do. Maybe her good genes didn't all get to me or maybe it's not age but mileage wearing my ass down. For all you young 'uns out there, grab life by the horns and run like Hell w/ it. Before you know what happened your joints will start poppin' & lockin' and I ain't talking about break dancing! You'll wake up and say "I remember when I used to go to bed not feeling this tired and sore." And Carpe Diem don't have anything to do w/ bottom sucking fish (carp). It's Latin, kids. "Sieze The Day."

Mississippi & Our Flag

Well, well, well. Once again there's hubbub and controversy over Mississippi's State Flag w/ the Confederate Battle Flag on it. For any who don't know, the State Flag has the Battle Flag in the upper right corner w/ horizontal bands of blue and white beside it and a band or red below all that. (Google it if you're still confused.) I get it that some folks are offended by this. May I offer my opinion on this? Thank you very much. We have many Flags that have flown over our proud state and are worthy of at least consideration to fly again. First offering I have is the Bonnie Blue Flag of The Republic of West Florida,  which encompassed a considerable chunk of Mississippi. Baby blue field w/ a single blue star. Simple, yet elegant. My favorite candidate to satisfy enough people so we can all let it go is The Mississippi Magnolia Flag. I fly this banner at my own home, yes indeed, and nobody except me seems to have a bloody clue in Hell what it is. The upper right corner has a field of blue w/ a single white star. Taking center stage is a magnolia tree in full bloom on a white background. The left side has a vertical red stripe. (Again, Google it if you don't get it.)
It is a piece of our past which should make the "keep our history" faction happy. No Confederate imagery for the "it's a hater symbol" crowd. So it's win/win, right? Either that or Hell No, everybody's pissed off!

If I Make It Thru September...

Remember last month I told y'all that I told my supervisor I'd decided when I wanted my vacation & he laughed and said, "You decided?" I replied, "Yes. I decided when I want to take my vacation."
Well, that week's schedule has been posted and guess whose vacation request wasn't approved? You got it... mine! Needless to say, this week I'm gonna be a bit grumpy and praying extra hard for strength not to tell anyone to kiss my ass. If I make it thru next week (when my vacation was requested) w/o saying it will be only by the grace of God. All the way thru September w/o will fully qualify as a miracle. I could just about eat a handful of nails and crap out a barbed wire fence right now but when life gives me lemons I grab a bottle of tequila, some salt and make margaritas. I've not been really happy at work for quite a while. Maybe this is the straw that breaks the camel's toe and gets me off my duff to start putting in applications elsewhere. Meanwhile I won't say JACK to anyone unless they ask why I'm being so pissy then tell 'em, "Hey! Look who ain't on vacation as per his month ago request!"

Rubs & Spice Mixes

The garlic salt/lemon pepper mix is also great for spicing up your corn meal for frying fish and flour for chicken and pork. Another mix I make is for roasting/smoking beef. I like to buy spices and such in the $1.00 jars of store brand just for ease of measuring when making bigger batches... and I like big batches! For beef I start w/ 1 each $1.00 jar of garlic powder, onion powder, black pepper and ground red pepper. Dump them all into a 1 quart Mason jar and add 2 jars of sea salt or kosher salt. Seal the deal and shake well. If you like a sweeter dry rub, measure 1 jar into a bowl and add some brown sugar (I never add more than 1/4 jar to start). You can refill the original $1.00 jars to take with when camping, share w/ friends... Just don't share the recipe! It'll be our secret!

Smoking A Pork Loin

I smoked a pork loin today w/ the plum wood. A while back I bought a Cajun Injector meat marinade and injector. Not being a big fan of use it once and throw it out I washed the hardware really well and kept the syringe and even the jar. I refilled the jar w/ ginger ale and pumped the loin full of it. For a rub I used equal parts garlic salt and lemon pepper. After a few hours smoking, put some on top of your head and your tongue will slap your brains out to get to it! It's even better than Milk Dud casserole and Junior Mint stew!

Smokin' Wood

I love smoked meat and love smoking it in my own home smoker, Black Beauty. The good Lord giveth even when He's not asked sometimes. I live on a cul-de-sac so my across the street neighbors ain't exactly straight across the street but anyway, Mr. Mack across the street and down about one and a half had a humongous plum tree in his back yard that wasn't making fruit anymore so he chain sawed it down and curbed it. Yes, as soon as I seen this my monkey butt was in my truck and loading up everything except the leaves that fell off during the fetching. For free I got some logs that need splitting near thick as my thigh down to finger thin twigs to smoke meat and give it that plum wood smoked sweetness! Hell yeah, I'm happy, Happy, HAPPY!

Near Flight

My Quack Pack consists of 3 African Geese, 2 Fawn & White Indian Runner Ducks and 5 Rouen Ducks. Their yard is shaped like an L with the South side being about 15' x 50 and the West about 15' x 35. I keep their vittles in a 12' x 16' storage building at the North end of the West leg and feed them at the East end of the South leg. When they see me heading to the barn they all come a~running. When I come out and head to the feed trays they indeed scamper briskly, quacking and honking! As they came around the corner of the L one of the geese was really flapping his/her wings. I thought, "You just may catch some air there" when a miracle occurred. I picked the breeds of ducks and geese specifically for flight inability but this honker made a near flight. Maybe only 6" altitude and 3', the landing gear was never retracted. Upon touchdown I believe the goose was more surprised than I. It come running to the fence where I was and I swear said, "Quack Daddy, Did you see that? I don't know what the Hell just happened but my big fat ass left the ground for a hot second!" It was priceless and needless to say, the honkers slow down a bit when rounding the corner now.

It Be That Way Sometimes

Last time I loaned my mower to my neighbor I said, "Bring it back full of gas and you break it, you bought it." She brung it back nigh onto empty, she'd dropped the front wheels 2 notches but not the back (which mangled my front yard until I seen what had been maladjusted) and it took me 3 tries to get the self propel mechanism working right again. Well, she asked me tother day to borrow it again and got shot down and I told her why. I've been out watering my front garden and fruit trees a couple times since then and seen her and her pack of snot gobblers. They haven't said ,"Hey... How are you... Kiss my ass..." Nary a word. The wrestler, Ice Man King Parsons summed it up nicely when he said, "Like Momma said, 'It be that way sometimes'."

Breakfast At Mom's

This past Saturday after I replaced the circuit breaker I was trying to get my AOL installed, upgraded and back on line when my phone rang. It was my mama inviting me to breakfast. Bacon, scrambled eggs, grits & biscuits. I pondered my choices for about 3 seconds... Beating my head against a wall trying to do techno stuff I am totally unqualified for or eating Mama's home cooking which I am most adept at and more than adequately qualified for? I was on the road in less than a minute! As she was finishing up the cooking I noticed a large red, ripe mater perched on the counter and calling my name. I sopped up the last of the mater juice w/ a last slice of bacon, last spoonful of grits and last of the eggs on the next to last biscuit sammich. I was fuller than a tick on a 9 day suck when I got back home! Thanks, Mom. You made my day. I love you.

I'm Back!

Well, well, well! It has been a rough ride but I'm back in the saddle again. When last things went well I told in the midst of updating my AOL software I had the circuit breaker for my home office sizzle, fizzle and fail. I replaced the breaker but now AOL wouldn't work right. I called their tech support and believe I have most if not all that crap working right or close enough. Then after my last post Blogger kept telling me I wasn't allowed to access my blog. Hard headed redneck that I am, I kept mashing buttons and after a few beers and many, Many, MANY cuss words as the great Ric Flair said, "Like it or not, you've gotta love it!" ... I'm back!